life as vacation

I don’t even want to look at the last time I posted, all. It was eons, and I do mean eons, ago. (Eon now equals a few months. Didn’t you know? But in this age of  instantaneous information, it might as well be forever.) It isn’t that I haven’t had anything to say. I’ve mentally started many posts–posts about the sermons I need to hear, posts about the bleakness of the world, posts about how my son’s face lights up when he smiles (and how that tempers the aforementioned bleakness), posts about freedom and hope in Christ, posts about racial reconciliation. But, honestly? I get about a paragraph into the post…and then I don’t want to think about it anymore. I can’t quite pull it together to focus and get it on (virtual) paper. So I move on, sweep the floor, surf the web, distract, distract, distract.

The quote wasn’t totally new to me, but it hit a chord today. Of course, I didn’t copy it at the time and now I can’t find it–fb isn’t helping me just now–but the gist of it is a quote from Seth Godin: “Instead of wondering where your next vacation is, you ought to set up a life you don’t need to escape from.” I don’t buy this hook, line, and sinker, as I think vacations aren’t always an escape. Vacations can be a chance to explore someplace different, to shake up the normal, to do something just because you can. But I like its essence: set up your life in a fashion you love, that you aren’t itching to leave, that uses your passions and inspires you to do your best. I let that sink into my soul a bit today, and it helped me clarify my thoughts about my next steps for work. You see, the kids are both in full-day school now, so I could get a more involved job. And I do miss physical therapy. My hourly gig doesn’t need me this fall, so, for the first time in almost nine years I have chunks of time. I’m no longer dashing from place to place, cramming as many errands as I can in before racing to pick up my kid on time. I feel like I can breathe, drink a cup of tea and even (gasp) read a book. I finished _Ready Player One_ today; I read 98 pages in one fell swoop. And it was glorious. That was today, and it’s not meant to be an everyday activity (I think). But what does God have for me in this new season? What makes me want to make sure the schedule is clear? Here’s what I think today:

  • I don’t want to work full-time unless our family situation dictates it. Yes, I realize that even making that statement is a huge luxury. I am grateful (ever so grateful) for that option. I would, however, like to work about two days a week.
  • Making time for friends is key.
  • That goal of running a half marathon? Make.it.happen
  • I’d like to write more, which is why there’s a blog post out of my brain and in your line of vision.
  • I want to dig down deep and figure out what God has created me for. I don’t mean in the general sense. I’m with the Westminster catechism on that one: “To glorify God and enjoy Him forever.” But what does that look like given how God made me? How does his fingerprint on my life play itself out? There’s some vulnerability there that I’m not totally sure I’m comfortable with. But I’ve heard good things about Jennie Allen’s book _Restless_ (and I even own it), so it might be a good tool to help me walk through some of this.
  • There are other details that don’t bear mentioning at this point.

I wish there were a way to wrap this up tidily, to give you and me a five step path to keep us headed forward. However, if there is anything I’ve learned in my months away, it is that the best thing I can do is to seek God. How trite, how cliché, I know. But life doesn’t work according to my timeline (are we still trying to figure out church?). Staying centered on Jesus allows me to move through this curvy path of life with peace. So, whether I’m back here soon or not, greetings to you. May you slow down to figure out what brings you joy, what makes you light up inside, what moves you closer to living out your life’s purpose. I can’t wait to see what it is for both of us.

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One response to “life as vacation

  1. Thank you for making the effort to share your thoughts at this new stage. I always appreciate being drawn into your mental process, even (or especially) when you don’t have the conclusions or answers yet. I resonate with your desire to discover your gifts, seek meaningful tasks, and relish each day. How blessed you are (and I was) in having freedom not to be fully [gainfully] employed!

    I also am looking at a new stage. I still treasure the opportunities for volunteering, but the venue(s) may be shifting. And, of course, we want to leave priority time for enjoying Joshua at his new stages: 5 mornings at My Own Montessori and afternoons free of naps.

    Marian

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