Tom took the kids out this morning. I almost didn’t let him go. I wanted him here. My kids here. In my arms. But in the end I needed alone time, and R. had choir rehearsal.

Like a moth to flame

I was drawn to read the interwebs

Over and over and over again.

Because surely, surely by reading

Some sense would come out of tragedy.

But it didn’t, and it won’t.

So hot tears flowed while reading

while showering

while washing dishes

while praying.

What do I pray? How?

Pray with heart cries

Pray with aching insides

Pray that somehow God would be in the darkness

Of despair, of pain, of lives and innocence lost.

Pray that although some answers will never be

That somehow, some way, Hope will.

Not today, not tomorrow. Not for some hellish period of time.

But some day.

Today we will mourn.

Praying for all those affected by the Sandy Hook Elementary massacre. Reminded by a friend to “look for the helpers”, and thankful for the principal, the custodian, the psychologist, the teachers, the police, and everyone else who desperately tried to help reign in horror.




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